Weblog Wannabe

Oh, I forgot to mention that GLOAT! is going to be a weekly weblog review type of thing, kind of like BLOAT!, but hopefully less subjective since I won't be the only reviewer. There'll be 5 reviewers reviewing 10 weblogs every week. Can you tell that I'm so excited about this? ;) I can't wait to get started! ♥

Um, should I say that I'm not accepting anymore applications for partnership in GLOAT!? Not that there are many people applying for it already. I've decided to recruit the partners myself because I don't want to disappoint anyone. Let me be the only one to get disappointed should the people I ask to be my partners say the dreaded word: "no" *shudders* Please, please, please [you know who you are], say yes? ;) ♥

Blogeur caught me (for the second time). Must be because of that GLOAT! thingy. Heh! To be honest, I don't really have a real concept for it yet. The idea is still rather vague. But I have all weekend to figure it out so just wait and see =) Meanwhile, I'm still accepting applications for the position of partner in GLOAT! so send me your full resume now! I'm waiting! [I hope you won't take the full resume bit too seriously =)] ♥

By the way, if you see my 'blog appear in the list of newly updated 'blog but you find no new entry, that means I just found some spelling or grammatical errors or both in my 'blog and decided to fix it. If you see any spelling or grammatical error that I didn't catch and it annoys you so much that you can't sleep because you keep on thinking about it, please do let me know and I'll fix it. With that said, now on with the show! ♥

My inbox is feeling so lonely *hint, hint!* ♥

Test your candybar knowledge. Name that Candybar. ♥

I'm thinking of creating a competition to BLOAT! which I'll call GLOAT! (yeah, very original indeed). Anyone wants to be my partner(s) in GLOAT? I think it'll be more fun to do it in team. Email me if you're interested. If I like your writing style and I think we'll make a great team, I'll pick you. If not, please don't take it personally. ♥

Things my girlfriend and I have argued about. This should give you an idea for a new web page to add to your website. If you do have a girl/boyfriend, that is. As you know, I'm among the unlucky few.

By the way, next Friday I'll turn 27 and once again I will have to sing myself a "Happy Birthday To Me". Sad, sad, sad... ♥

Interlac Converter will turn any text into an ascii graphic. But what on earth is Interlac? ♥

Jordan thinks that I'm the most emphatic weblogger he knows. Well, guess what? I'm also the most emphatic person my (real-life) friends ever know. Emphatic is my middle name, so my full name is Firda E. Beka. Lovely! =)

You really should read Jordan's interpretation of "SPW, WPQ" *grins* "Phirda" sounds so hackerific (is that a word?)! ♥

There are only 2 days left to enter the 5k contest, yet I still haven't created anything worth submitting. I really want to enter the contest. I mean, this is the only chance I'll ever get to impress Jason Kottke with my oh so sophisticated HTML knowledge! *sarcastic* Maybe I'll just submit a picture of a rubber ducky in ASCII. I don't know... ♥

Philip came up with an "SPW, WPQ" haiku:

Serendipity,
Purposeful Webloggers, Will
Provide Quotations.

It just gets weirder and weirder everyday... ♥

Sorry, no poems the other day. We had power loss last night. The only sensible thing to do when there's no electricity is sleep, and that's exactly what I did. I went to bed early and had a dreamless sleep, which is great as I'm tired of having nightmares. Anyway, I'll try to write the poems this morning from work, so check back often! ♥

This just in. "SPW, WPQ" according to Jish: Some Pretty Weblogger, With Pretty Quirks.

Oooh, you made me blushed, Jish! =) ♥

Yay!!! Jordan finally updated his 'blog!!! =) I was beginning to get used to seeing "The most amusing thing I've read all day.." as the latest entry *grins*

I still don't know what to think about Kevin's letter to BLOAT! I mean, isn't it just the way it is that the webcelebs get all the highlights? Had Kevin written that letter last month, I'd probably have become his number one supporter as I was so frustrated back then for not getting recognised by the webcelebs. But now I just couldn't care less. I'm quite happy with all the lovely people who do recognise me and enjoy my weblog.

Kevin does have his point but I just think that anyone can write whatever they want in their very own web space. Kevin can, Ms. Tenpenny can, you can and I can. The question is, do you have the heart to write something that might upset people that you know will read it and by doing so, humiliate them in front of public? I don't. I'm just too nice a person to ever do anything like that. I'll bitch, but I won't go on naming names. ♥

Benjamin was kind enough to translate the poem I wrote for Orbiting.org into French. Check this out:

En orbite

La Lune est en orbite autour de la Terre
La Terre est en orbite autour du Soleil
Le Soleil brille toujours sur nous
Tant que la Lune est en orbite autour de la Terre

Nous voyons son croissant, puis elle, enti�re
Puis son croissant, encore
Tant que la Terre est en orbite autour du Soleil
Nous voyons ceux que l'on aime ou desteste

Na�tre ou mourrir
Les croissant et la pleine Lune
Les naissances et les morts
Sont toujours en orbite autour de nous.

Cool, huh? It doesn't really rhyme, but it's not so bad either. Thanks, Benjamin! =) ♥

SPW, WPQ according to Mark: Smatty Poppyseed Winos, Whatever People Question.
SPW, WPQ according to Ryan: Social Peace Work, with "perfect" quotient.

Which definition do you like the most? ;) ♥

All these talking about Pravda kind of remind me of my good, old, college days as a philosophy minor. Yep, that's right. The good, old, goofy me was a philosophy minor. Surprise, surprise! In one of the philosophy classes, I learned a lot about communism. It doesn't really have anything to do with weblogging. It's just that in Indonesia, people tend to think that communism and atheism are one and the same. It really irritates me. It's not that I agree with communism. I just wish that people would really learn about what communism is all about before they open their mouths and make wrong assumptions and force feed the mass with them. Anyway, my father brought me up to be a capitalist but I think he's failed. I don't really think much about money. My mother brought me up to be nothing but myself and apparently she's more successful at that. I enjoy sharing (no, I'm not a swinger), but I don't think that I'd be happy if I got paid the same sum of money with people who work less hard than me. Don't ask me what my point is. I just feel like babbling. ♥

Next on my poetry hitlist are Daily Bread, The Armed Vision (somebody show Philip how to do TV lines effect, please?), and Hit or Miss. Yup, you'll get 3 poems again tomorrow. Aren't you excited? ;) ♥

Only one poem this time. I'm too sleepy to write more. I'm just keeping my promise to Kevin. The poem is not nearly as cool as the one Kevin wrote for me, but you've got to give me credit because it actually rhymes! Anyway, here's the poem for Kevin. I hope he won't hate me too much after reading this.

Ghost in the Machine

Ghost in the machine
Brought to you by Kevin
Whose code is pretty clean
Even though he's just a geek wannabeen

This ghost is not scary
So please don't you worry
It will keep you happy
Unless your name's Sally Tenpenny

Kevin updates manually
Without Blogger, how fussy
But he just blogs on endlessly
Like the Energizer bunny

I promised Kevin to write him this
To write an ode to a weblog of his
A few hours of sleep I've missed
Now the mission's accomplished!

If you want me to write a poem about your weblog, just email me your URL and then wait a couple of days for it to show up here. I'm still feeling generous. Be sure to take advantage of it! ♥

Just when I started feeling so ancient, Kevin referred to me and a bunch other webloggers who I believe are younger than me as "youngbloods" in his letter to Sally Tenpenny. Woohoo! And you know what's funny? Kevin is almost 2 years younger than me! =) ♥

Take the The BitchTest for women or The BastardTest for men to find out how big a bitch/bastard you actually are. I'm only 31% bitch, which is lower than the average bitch (38%). And I thought I was the biggest bitch in the world! ♥

Read Weblog Wannabe (partly) in French, courtesy Debabelizer. Somehow the poems sounds less crappy in French than in English, but I think it's due to the fact that my French has gotten so rusty that I don't understand most French words anymore.
♥

Hey, Matt, the proprietor of hit-or-miss.org, is a librarian too! So now there are 3 librarians cum webloggers that I'm aware of: Matt, Jessamyn, and of course, yours truly. Oh yes, librarians rule!!! =) ♥

Who would've thought that the man behind the Beebo Metalog is a self-proclaimed halfwit. ♥

Yay, we made it to beebo!!! We're famousss!!! We're bourgeouise!!! We suck!!! Don't ask. ♥

Just want to remind you that this weblog is an emailware. If you haven't registered your emailware licence yet, please do so. If you email me, you'll be free from that guilty conscience. Really. And you'll enjoy this weblog even more. Really. Please? My inbox is dying... *sniff!* ♥

Unless you send me any more request, Ghost in the Machine will be the only victim tomorrow. I've decided to continue this stupid weblog poem offer. I kind of enjoy writing all the silly poems and haikus anyway. My brain does need a little aerobic. That's what writing the silly poems is like. Brain aerobic. So send your URL in now before I change my mind and close the offer! ♥

Well, Leonard is on holidays in Florida at the moment and won't be back until April 4. That means he won't be able to read this until then. Good for him, I guess. I would hate to see this crappy poem ruin his holidays.

You talkin to me like that?

You talkin to me like that?
Why are you trying to make me mad?
I'm not really that bad

You talkin to me like that?
Are you trying to make sad?
I don't think I'm that fat

You talkin to me like that?
Why didn't you wear the hat?
Now everyone knows that you're bald

You talkin to me like that?
Do you have anything against my cat?
Yes, my cat did eat your rat.

I couldn't think of anything stupid to associate with Orbiting. The word is just too scientific. Ths is probably the most serious weblog poem I've ever written.

Orbiting

The moon is orbiting the earth
The earth is orbiting the sun
The sun is shining on us

While the moon is orbiting the earth
We see the crescent and full moon
And then the crescent again

While the earth is orbiting the sun
We see the births and the deaths
Of ones we love or hate

The crescents and full moon
The births and the deaths
All orbiting us, always.

Kids, don't try this at home. Swallowing tacks is dangerous, even if I said that it was yummy, crunchy and healthy and came in many lovely flavoured like candies.

Swallowing Tacks

Tacks are yummy
Tacks are crunchy
Tacks are healthy
Swallowing tacks is trendy

Green tacks are minty
Red tacks are strawberry
Orange tacks are orangey
Swallowing tacks' like candies

Feed me tacks on silver spoon
One spoonful every full moon
Could turn you into a loon
Swallowing tacks makes me swoon. ♥

Everybody seems to be talking about this Salon article, Keep a Web journal, get fired ... or worse. I didn't get fired because of my online diary. I just got discovered by my fellow Indonesians after my diary got listed in Yahoo!. I was careful not to mention my whereabouts in my site description when I submitted my diary to Yahoo! but as it turned out, the category editor totally rewrote and reworded it and the worst part was they mentioned where I lived.

I wrote about things that aren't acceptable by the conservative Indonesian society in my diary. I wrote about how hypocritical the society can be. I wrote about how I wanted to have a child without a husband. I wrote about the men that I'd like to have sex with. I wrote about so many things that a respectable Indonesian girl shouldn't have talked about. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when I checked my site stats one day and found that I'd been getting hoardes of visitors from Indonesia coming from Yahoo! It really freaked me out, and the next day I decided to close the site down.

Anyway, what I learned from my experience in keeping an online diary is this: once you get your diary online, you'll be obsessed with the number of readers you get. Once you get a relatively large number of readers and become email friends with some of them, it'll be hard for you to express yourself freely. Soon, whether you like it or not, you're going to have to think before you write in fear that some of the things you write will offend a certain reader. If you think that it'll be offensive for some readers, you'll decide not to write it down because you're worried that your readers might find you uncool if you did. Before you know it, you'll be writing about a person that your readers want you to be in your diary and that person, more often than not, is not yourself. That's when the diary becomes a work of fiction and totally loses its point. You can call it the death of an online diary if you wish.

The sum it all up, if you want to be totally honest with yourself, never keep an online diary. But if you decide to have it anyway, never submit it to any search engine unless you want it to be discovered by people who know you in real life. The end. ♥

Rate Your Risk. Find out how likely you are to get raped, robbed, stabbed, shot, beaten, murdered or burglarised. Lovely, huh?
♥

Jamming a Pair of Scissors Repeatedly Into Your Crotch. I think it's pretty self-explanatory =) ♥

Look, Weblog Wannabe is # 50 in the Hot List!!! I know, it's lame *sighs* Sorry... My mood still hasn't improved. I'm still feeling lower than all those creepy, icky creatures that live underground. ♥

I think I'm in love with Kevin Murphy, a Harvard graduate weblogger who is not ashamed to admit that he's a link-stealing hack and that he will do almost anything to get more links. He's a great poet too and it shows in the ode he wrote for me:

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen
(expect perhaps Firda, the 'blog poem queen)
When I feel like a wannabe, or, worse a wannabeen,
I write it all down at Ghost in the Machine.

I suffer from a terrible addiction, methinks
That I'll do almost anything to get more links,
All these brilliant bloggers with their razor-keen wits,
(And I with no blogger, no pita, and no hits.)

But I see Firda's page, and my smile comes back,
With her yellow background and her cheerful "Quack!"
She writes such great poesy, and her insight, no lack,
that it doesn't even matter that I'm a link-stealing hack.

So, Ms. Firda, would you compose me an ode?
Just come take a look at my humble abode,
Although compared to your ducky, it may seem like a toad,
But it's the best I can do with my knowledge of code!

Kevin just won himself a link and a poem that will show up here sometime tomorrow. Now please give Kevin a big applause! *clap, clap, clap!* OK, that's enough. Congrats, Kevin! =) ♥

When I'm in a crappy mood like now, I become a do-gooder. I've helped Nikolai doing an internet research for his presentation (though I'm sure it didn't help at all as he already knew all the searching tips I could give him) and now I'm linking to Blueblog just because Adam thought nobody would. It's nothing, I know. I just need to do something to make me feel better about myself. I don't want to do anything self-destructive. It's not my style. Think positive, Firda. Think yellow. Now inhale... and exhale... I'm feeling better already =) I'm smiling, see? ♥

I'm in a bad mood but Tarsh here wants me to post more *boo hoo hoo!* Oh well, at least he sent me an email *sniff!* ♥

Sorry. I'm just in a really bad mood right now. ♥

Ryan asks me how I get so famous (am I famous?). Well, I can only tell you one thing: being a desperate 26 year-old single underpaid Indonesian female with no life helps. A great deal. ♥

I'm so disappointed that my recent dirty scheme to make you email me doesn't work very well =( I feel so unloved now *sniff!* Only Caroline, Tarsh and Ryan cared to ask. Well, Andy too but I made him ask so he doesn't count. Oh well, I think I'll just let you know. "SPW, WPQ" means "Self-Proclaimed Wannabe, Weblog Poem Queen". I know it's lame but it was funny yesterday... ♥

I had a dream that I ride on a rollercoaster to heaven last night. Does that mean that I'm dying? ♥

Yay! Eric wrote me a limerick (hey, Eric actually rhymes with limerick!)! He did mispronounce my name but that's OK. It's the thought that counts =) Anyway, here it is:

The once was a woman named Firda
whose weblog had a yellow bird-a
She's an email whore
(so she likes to implore)
Just call her a "wannabe" nerd-a.

Cute, eh? ;) No, I'm not Canadian even though I use "eh" every now and then.
♥

Well, Freespeech is just up from its 3 hour sleep. Should I put up until I can afford my own domain or should I leave? In case you're wondering, I'm after firda.nu just so that I can be just as cool as Brig and Jack, though barely as famous. Heh! ♥

According to Jordan, my weird dreams had something to do with sex. Hmmm... What do you think?

Speaking of dreams, Adam accuses me of stealing his code only in my dream, OK? He's too nice to be mean to me =) ♥

Here's the list of the next poetry victims that you've been waiting for: You talkin to me like that? (that's a title), Orbiting and Swallowing Tacks. They'll also be the last victims in my hitlist. But if any of you still want a poem, you can try to talk me into writing one for you. But then you'll have to do it oh so sweetly. In other words, send me a love letter and I'll write you a poem. There I said it! I know what you're thinking. I'm such a loser... ♥

It's haiku time! Yes, I wrote haikus for each weblog this time. Andy got me addicted to haikus. He thinks I'm a natural =) I used to write haikus but I quit many months ago. Anyway, the haikus I wrote are no better than my poems, if not worse, so beware!

I'm not really sure about this. I just assume that Adam has quit webloglogging as he hasn't updated Webloglog since Saturday. But I hope it's not true.

Blueblog and Webloglog

Blueblog had a son
His son's name was Webloglog
His son was famous

Blueblog got envious
But he couldn't kick him out
He killed him instead

Oh dear Webloglog
How I miss you so, so much
Can you rise from death?

Blueblog, you murderer!
Oh may Blogger forget you
And give you no cookie!

I hate to admit this, but I still like the old Eleven Seconds better. The new layout seems all doom and gloom to me. I do love the grungy font Vanessa used for the header, though.

Eleven Seconds

Eleven Seconds
The pink weblog you're no more
You're dark and gloomy

No spam like background
Black like the night sky, so dark
No more cute raygun

Eleven seconds
Please give some light to my eyes
Poor myopic eyes

Darkness go away
From my eyes, not from you
Darkness suits you well

I love RasterWeb's layout. It looks so clean and tidy. And it's updated manually, without Blogger! Pete should really go ahead with his idea to create "Not Powered by Blogger" button =)

RasterWeb

Raster, not rooster
Cock-a-doodle, says rooster
Click here, says Raster

Raster, not master
You are my slave, says master
Click here, says Raster

Raster, not water
Splish here, splash there, says water
Click here, says Raster

Raster, not mother
Be a good boy, says mother
Click here, says Raster ♥

Mark might have "nontechnical taking phone calls peace" as his middle name, but I, Firda, have "SPW, WPQ" after my name. Curious? Askmeaskmeaskme!!!! Yup, you guessed it right. It's yet another fishy scheme of mine to make you email me *grins* But you are curious, aren't you? Sorry, I'm not telling unless you email me! =) Please? ♥

I just checked the guestbook in my Diaryland diary site that I've been abandoning for a couple of months and the latest entry read: "I agree that freespeech sucks. That's why I moved out of there . It's so cool that we both have online friends that have lasted for years. It's fun and I want to keep it that way. I've seen a few net friends and it made a difference. Great page you have here and yeah, you are famous." Emphasis on "yeah, you are famous". Who me? ♥

I enjoy reading other people's lowbrow moments at lowbrow.com but I couldn't think of any when I was going to submit one, not because I don't have one but because I have too many of them. ♥

Rentajerk.com. "Got something on your mind but you don't have the balls to spit it out yourself? We'll do it for ya! Pretty simple concept, don't ya think?" I couldn't have said it better. ♥

Do you want to buy a property on the moon, Mars or Venus? Lunar Embassy will arrange it for you. Must be interesting to have all those little green men as your business partners.
♥

If you're psychic or you think you're psychic, take this challenge. It's a $1,000,000 challenge, man!
♥

Now, not only can you have an online wedding, you can also have an online funeral at R-I-P.com. Will the wonder of the internet ever cease? ♥

By the way, as you can see, I didn't get to finish my new layout. The CSS is still playing up and I still can't figure out what's wrong =( ♥

FYI, I might not be able to post a lot until later today because I have to interview some candidates for a post in my office all morning. Only 8 months ago I was the interviewee and now I'm the interviewer. Ack! I've never been an interviewer before but I already know that I'm not going to enjoy it. I'm sure I will make a big fool of myself in front of the candidates *sighs* I'm just so clumsy... ♥

I had a really weird dream last night. The dream consists of a couple dreams so it was actually a collection of dreams in one night. It even had a "commercial break" in between dreams! Heh.

The first dream is a rather romantic one. I go to this country where everything is so dark and gloom and I meet a guy there that I really like and I think he likes me too. And then we start plotting a way to get out of that country and go to the country across the field. Yes, the next country is only across the field and over there it's so green and bright and the people look so happy. Quite the contrary to the country we're in. Anyway, one day I tell him, "Let's do it!" and he's like "Are you sure you want to do it?" "Yes, I'm sure," I say. So there we are, running across the field like there's no tomorrow. I'm so afraid that someone will shoot us from behind or the guys who guard the border of the country across the field will shoot us, but nothing happens. We get into the country safely and the guards are cheering on us, "You made it! You made it!" We are so happy we're dancing round and round and we're hugging each other and then I hear myself saying "I love you." He looks me in the eyes and says, "I love you too. Let's get married!"

And that's where the commercial break occurs. It's not really a commercial break. It's just a break in which I receive an email from Adam who accuses me of stealing his javascripts. You know, that "Today, Yesterday" thing? In my reply I just say that I did look at his source code but I didn't steal it. I swear to God! And that's the end of the commercial break.

What follows is another dream altogether where my younger brother and I are kidnapped by an old witch and his son. His son is nice as he always brings us a lot of lovely things to play with and cooks us lovely meals but his mother is, well, a witch. She makes our lives hell. One day my bro and I manage to run away and my brother shows me a place where we can see a lot of weird-looking tropical fish (he actually has a large fish tank in his room filled with a lot of weird looking fish) and I fall into one of the fish tanks that's full with worms and shrimps (yuck!) but luckily the water is not so deep so I just get out of the fish tank and drag my brother out of the place.

And then my mother woke me up and I woke up feeling tired as hell. Anyone knows what the whole dream could mean? Email me! =) Oh by the way, the dream is in English, which is weird because I usually dream in my mother-tongue, Indonesian language. Maybe I've been spending too much time online, I don't know... ♥

I was really touched when I saw my name in Nikolai's list of people he would've enjoyed meeting in SXSW 2000. That was so sweet. Thanks so much, Nikolai! If I were there, I would've made a big fool of myself by cheering on you so loudly in the award presentation that you wished you hadn't known me in the first place *grins* Aren't you glad I wasn't there? ;) ♥

Next in my poetry hitlist are Blueblog/Webloglog, Eleven Seconds, and RasterWeb. Get ready for another installment of crappy poems! ♥

OK, folks. This is the fifth installment of the Weblog Poem-A-Thon. All of the poems this time consist of 12 lines. I think it's just fair. For your information, at the end of this Poem-A-Thon, there'll be a contest. I will ask you to vote for the best poem out of all these crappy poems. Out of all the voters I will pick a lucky winner and the winner will get themselves, well, a poem. What else? Hey, I'm just a poor federal employee!

This is probably the dumbest weblog poem ever. But look! The poem actually rhymes! You've got to give me credit for that since most of the poems I wrote don't rhyme. I hope Jordan won't hate it too much.

Digital Swirlee

Tornadoes swirl
Fireworks swirl
Lollipops swirl
But not digitally

My head swirls
Your eyes swirl
Their tongues swirl
Still not digitally

The internet swirls
Blogger swirls
Our modems swirl
Digital Swirlee

The word "Ouch!" sounds somewhat violence to me. Hence, the violence-filled poem. The head smacking bit was inspired by an episode of Ally McBeal I watch a couple of nights ago.

Ouch!

Ouch!
Why did you smack my head?
"Because I felt like it, that's why."

Ouch!
Why did you punch my nose?
"Because I love the colour of blood."

Ouch!
Why did you pinch my cheek?
"Because you're so darn cute!"

Ouch!
Why are you blogging me?
"Because I'm a blogoholic, my dear."

This poem has got to be the corniest ever. Just read the second verse. What could be cornier than that? It's more like haikus than a poem, though. My motto is "when in doubt, write some haikus".

Kestrel's Nest

The Kestrel's nest I saw
It was beige with purple streaks
Didn't see an egg

The Kestrel's nest I saw
Brought Georgia to my mind
(Not that I've been there)

The Kestrel's nest I saw
Was not really a bird's nest
The nest was of links

The Kestrel's nest I saw
Had a Kestrel's picture up
It was watching you. ♥

So Freespeech server is up again. If you don't see any new poems, it's because when the server was down, I was too upset to write the poems to post later. I'll write the poems now. On a happier note, my new layout is almost done and hopefully it will be up and running sometime today. Yay! =) ♥

Anonymous Web Hosting Banned In France and with that a website of mine that was hosted by Altern.org went down the drain. And the goddamned Freespeech.org server is down (again!). Poor me. Sighs. Host me anyone? ♥

Wanna be an Apple? ;) ♥

How To Tie A Tie. I know some of you don't know how. And being the nice girl that I am, I dedicate this link to you.
♥

The Surrealist Compliment Generator. The surrealist compliment I got was this: "May your couscous always be as naked as your chainsaw." Should I say thanks?
♥

NetSlaves Combat Manual, 13: How to Know You Work for Idiots. As if you needed a manual to figure it out.
♥

The Bomb shows you how to kill your browser in many "fun" ways and make your OS to suffer. Are you man enough to try it? ♥

Madonna's version of "American Pie" really sucks. Give me Don McLean's version anytime. ♥

The most dreaded error message I frequently get when I'm posting a message using Blogger:

error 'ASP 0113'
Script timed out

/makeblog.pyra

The maximum amount of time for a script to execute was exceeded. You can change this limit by specifying a new value for the property Server.ScriptTimeOut or by changing the value in the IIS administration tools.

Is it my fault or their fault? ♥

I hereby announced that the free weblog poem offer, kindly sponsored by Webloglog, is REALLY closed as my poetic string is just about to break apart from too much straining. No more poem request will be accepted but a lot of fan mail will be very much appreciated. If you've sent me a request but still haven't seen your poem here, just wait a couple more days. It will show up eventually. ♥

Peter thinks the poem about Browse-0-Tron that I wrote is like the theme song for the old "Spiderman" TV show. I wish I knew what the song is like. I'd really like to make comparison. I can only remember the theme song for "Wonder Woman" and it's annoying beyond belief, to say the least. Anyway, Peter says he will write a poem about Weblog Wannabe. I can hardly wait to read it! =)
♥

It's already past midnight but I can't sleep because it's so damn hot! =( ♥

How to Build a Web Page in 25 92 Steps. It brings back so many memories that I'd rather forget.
♥

This is so unbelievable. According to Weblog Banner Ads Statistics, my banner has been viewed 352 times and guess how many people have clicked it? Zilch!!! I think I'll create another banner this weekend. A bright yellow one with eye-soring animations. After all, eye-soring gif animation is my field of expertise.

Anyway, I'm going to really redesign my site this weekend and, true to my email-whorish nature, I'm going to put up a link to my email address at the bottom of each entry. If that doesn't make you want to email me, I don't know what will.
♥

The next poetry victims will be Digital Swirlee, Ouch! and Kestrel's Nest. By the way, Eric, the proprietor of of Kestrel's Nest, actually nominated Weblog Wannabe to be Blog of the Week back then, when there was still democracy in Blogger.com. He nominated my 'blog just because I said my goldfish was a widower *grins* ♥

I didn't get home until 7 PM today so I wrote and posted the poems a bit later than usual. I think I'm beginning to get the hang of it because I finished writing the following poems in a relatively shorter time. And as you can see, the poem quality just gets worse and worse everyday. Told ya I wasn't the world's greatest poet!

The best thing about this poetry scheme is I get to visit weblogs that I've never had the pleasure of visiting before. Browse-O-Tron is one of them. The blog is very, erm, unique. Hence, the somewhat unique poem. At least it is in my own humble opinion.

Browse-O-Tron

Browse-O-tron
Browse the electron
Not electronic browser, isn't it?

Browse-O-Tron
Big, capital font
What's the name of it?

Browse-O-Tron
Not powered by Blogger
How can you live without it?

Browse-O-Tron
Peter Willard-powered blog
The server's never down, isn't it?

Browse-O-Tron
Blogging on and on and on
Will you ever get tired of it?

The first that came to my mind when I heard the word "wockerjabby" was "jabberwocky". I think "wockerjabby" has no meaning, but it's very catchy indeed. The poem itself is more about Rabi than Jabberwocky because I find Rabi very interesting.

Wockerjabby

Wockerjabby
Not Jabberwocky
It's a Halloween thing
I think

Wockerjabby
Kept by rah-bee
"Like the things that buzz and make honey"
Really cutie

Wockerjabby
Rabi plays rugby
Obsessed with straight lines
Sounds like fun

Wockerjabby
The 'blog is so lovely
"Gyre and gimble in the web"
It's so fab.

I really should've called this poem "An Ode to Soldotna, Alaska". Well, actually it's more like haikus than a poem. It's basically 5-7-5 (syllables). Not that you care or anything. I just thought I'd throw that in.

PP*Blog

Cold, icy PP
Premium Polar, that is
Really fantastic

Based in Soldotna
Sounds very Russian indeed
But it's in Alaska

Oh blue, icy blue
The colour of Alaska
Not that I've been there

Premium Polar Blog
Is not kept by polar bears
Les is the master

Les the Alaskan
He doesn't live in igloo
He's no Eskimo

(Or are you?) ♥

I posted this link just so that you can see what a lousy, untalented poet I actually am. I'm no poet laureate. I'm just a poet wannabe *sobs* ♥

Congratulations on Becoming a U.S. Citizen! It sounds like a really warm welcome, don't you think? But don't let it fool ya! By posting this, I'm punishable by a maximum of 18 years in prison. Oooh, scary! Wait a minute. I'm not even a U.S. citizen so they can't punish me! Yay! Happy happy joy joy! ♥

Japanese Game Title Generator. And you think Pokemon is bad enough.
♥

This site shows how to make an alien and then how to autopsy it. Don't ask. I'm just as clueless as you.
♥

Corey and I are only 63.33% compatible. But it's still better than David and I. Our compatibility is only 39.00%. Looks like we indeed are not meant for each other, folks. What a shame. ♥

Apparently, Adam is experimenting with SSI which caused his index page to disappear (???). How everyday can be "Today" is beyond me. Good luck, Adam! =)

Update: He's fixed it, so don't expect to see anything weird when you go to Blueblog. [You don't know what you missed ;)] ♥

Uncle Joe says he blogs me very much. I blog you too, Uncle Joe! I blog you, you blog me, we blog each other... ♥

Geoff, whose 'blog just made it to the scoop index (yay!), wrote a wonderful poem about me:

Firda Firda so far away
updates her web page fifty times a day

How she does it I don't know
I really am quite jealous though.

She think that Donkeymon is lonely
but of his kind he is the only.

We could help him with gene-splicing
if only they had discount pricing.

Her rubber ducky makes my day
even though Bert and Ernie were gay

If her blog was more like mine
here viewer count would soon decline.

I knew my poem would be really lame
thankfully Firda's was not the same.

Doesn't it make you wish I could write poems at least half as good as Geoff? I'm not sure about Bert and Ernie being gay, though. I thought they were just roommates. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. It's just that I loved Bert and Ernie very much when I was younger and I just don't want to face the fact that, you know, I could never be Mrs. Bert or Mrs. Ernie. Waaah! ♥

OK, next poetry victims are Browse-O-Tron, Wockerjabby and PP*Blog. Aren't you excited? ;) ♥

Only one out of today's three poems has no sentimental touch in it. I think it's because I was listening to some love songs as I wrote them. But the love songs I listened to were happy ones, not you-break-my-heart kind of love songs, so I guess it's not really the reason.

Anyway, the first poem is about Donkeymon by Geoff (yes, he drew the donkey himself). The Donkeymon on his 'blog seems so lonely. This poem obviously captures the loneliness. You really should consider finding Donkeymon a friend, Geoff.

Donkeymon

Look! What is it?
Is it a donkey?
Is it Pikachu?
No, it's Donkeymon!

Donkeys may be dumb
But not Donkeymon
Donkeymon is special
A special kind of donkey

Donkeymon's like you
As it stands on two feet
And it has two hands
That are tiny as its feet

Donkeymon loves you
And it loves flowers too
Its brown cowboy's hat
Is its one and only friend.

I was supposed to write a poem about Metacubed, but I ended up writing one about Crazy Uncle Joe instead. But he's quite a character that I just couldn't resist it. The poem was so easy to compose and I really, really like it.

Metacubed

Come, 'bloggers, come
And I'll tell you a story
About my crazy Uncle Joe

Uncle Joe is my uncle
Even though he always says:
"I'm not your blogging uncle!"

If Uncle Joe says:
"I blog you very much"
That means he loves you

But if he says:
"Go blog yourself!"
That means he missed you

And when he says:
"I didn't blog the blog that's blogging the blog that blogged the blogging of his blogging of the blogs that blog the blogs"
That means he's telling you a lie

Yes, Uncle Joe is my uncle
Even though he always says:
"I'm blogging not your blogging uncle!"

What can I say about this poem. I wanted it to be a funny and cheerful one, but then I read this particular post and, well, it made me feel sentimental. Hence the very sentimental last verse. Sorry, Jish. I couldn't help it!

Weblog Shmeblog

Rub the magic lamp
Rub it two times
And three times more
And say "Weblog shmeblog!"

Say it once
Say it twice
Say it three times more
And Jish the Genie is yours forever

Make a wish
Make it two
Make three more
That means 5 wishes. No?

But Jish is no ordinary genie
He's no genie in the bottle
He's genie in the lamp
He makes wishes, not grant

He wishes for happiness for all
He wishes for good time for all
He only makes one wish for himself
And that is to be in love one more time. ♥

I finally found the mysterious link to this 'blog that has brought about a dozen visitors from Metafilter. I find it funny that people think of the whole free poem scheme as a way for me to get more visitors when the main reason I started it in the first place was to get more people to email me. I am an email whore because I will do anything to get people to email me, but I'm not a link whore. Really. ♥

Find out how compatible Antonio Banderas/Sharon Stone and you are here. Don't you just love useless pages? By the way, if you want to know how compatible we are, you can enter my name (Firda Beka) and my birthday (April 7, 1973 *hint, hint!*) with yours. Try it! We might be soulmates! You can email me the results of our compability test if you want! =)
♥

Another reason why time difference sucks: I can't join the irc blog chat because I'm still at work and it's Thursday morning here instead of Wednesday night =( Why can't the world have only one time zone? Why oh why?
♥

The Amazing 8000 Wives Program guarantees that you'll receive 8000 wives within 3 weeks. It's perfect for sex maniacs, I guess.
♥

This guy would do so much as shaving half of his beard just to test the theory that a beard keeps you warmer. Things people do for science...
♥

If you live in the UK, are married, but thinking of cheating on your spouse, this one's for you: The Alibi Agency. I can't believe this thing really exists. I hope it's just a joke. But on second thought, I hope it's not. I mean, it's about time for all those cheaters to get charged.
♥

Damn. I didn't get to see Bryan wearing a black tie on a black shirt to honour the poem I wrote for his 'blog, thanks to the time difference =( Would you do it again tomorrow, Bry? Please?
♥

Today is such a weird day. Two weird things have happened to me this morning. The 1st one: I swear I saw the header of an email from Adam when I was downloading my email early in the morning, but when I was about to read it, it was nowhere to be found. Maybe I was just hallucinating. The 2nd one: Well, it's not really all that weird. In fact, it's not weird at all. Just frustrating. You see, when I checked my stats, I found that someone was linking me from Metafilter but I couldn't find the article with the link when I was looking for it. Can anyone help? ♥

Hey, look! Ryan wrote me a poem too!

Yellow rubber duck,
I am charmed by your stories,

Work, eat, sleep, blog, beep
When I'm asleep, you blog my dreams.

I think it has something to do with time difference *grins* Thanks, Ryan! =) ♥

Next on my list of poetry victims are Geoff, Crazy Uncle Joe, and Jish. Oooh, I can hardly wait! ♥

I could only write 2 weblog poems today because the 3rd weblog, Playing With Cobras, wasn't accessible so I couldn't take a look and make up something out of it.

The first poem is for Bryan's weblog. The weblog brought me so much inspiration. It was such a pleasure to write. If all weblogs were like his, I could write six weblog poems a day. Well, not really, but you know what I mean.

What's Happenin', Bry?

What's happenin', Bry?
What are you doin'?
Are you still lookin' for the handsome blue couch?
Or have you given it up?

What's happenin', Bry?
What's up with your webcam?
Why don't you ever change your shirt?
And why does the woman in the background never move?

What's happenin', Bry?
What's cookin'?
Where the hell is Pangra?
And where's the boat to return to?

Maybe I should just go in the cave
With Professor Twangiri
And wait for Pangra there
Before turning to page 229.

You know, I really wonder if John sent me his weblog URL just to torture me. Just take a look at Metajohn. If you could come up with a poem better than what you can see here, I'd send you a snail mail postcard. The 'blog is just too perfect...

Metajohn

Metajohn, oh Metajohn
Why are you so mighty?
You and your Karma
And your sacred Manifesto

Metajohn, oh Metajohn
Why are you so wise?
You and your nuggets of wisdom
258 last time I see

Metajohn, oh Metajohn
Why don't you show me how?
Show me how to be a geek
'Cause I really want to be one

Metajohn, oh Metajohn
What else can I say?
I'm really lost for words
'Cause you're just so perfect. ♥

Infectious Neckties, Scarves, Boxers. "TB scarves now available. Watch for other emerging designs throughout the 1st Quarter, 2000, e.g. anthrax (bioterrorism), giardia, e. coli, dustmites (asthma), breast cancer, and lots of other surprises." I just don't know what to say about this site. ♥

Play the Longevity Game to find out how long you're going to live. According to them, I'll live to be 79. What a scary prospect! ♥

Have you had many dates but none of them really satisfied you? Try Dating Patterns Analyzer. It will evaluate your relationships and tell you what really makes you happy. Not recommended for dateless people like yours truly. It'll only make you feel even more depressed. Trust me on this one. But if you must... Don't say I didn't warn you! ♥

Hey, look what I've got! Beautiful haikus about Weblog Wannabe, written by Andy!

Weblog Wannabe
makes for excellent haikus.
(Five syllable name!)

I love rubber ducks
especially yours; it's eyes
are watching heaven.

Whoa, yellow background!
Yellow and black are the most
powerful contrast

of available
color combinations. Did
you know about that?

It's true, something to
do with the cones in your eyes.
No, not ice cream cones.

Weblog Wannabe,
if you were an icecream, you'd
be vanilla, with

vanilla beans. And
you'd be "weblog wannabean."
And I'd eat you up.

Weblog Wannabe,
I know your dirty secret.
You and Webloglog

are getting it on
'neath the bleachers. Worry not,
I keep good secrets.

Weblog Wannabe,
I dig you even though you
spell out *giggles*. (*grins*)

The end.

Thank you sooo much, Andy! Gosh, I wish I could write as well as you! And I bet my readers would get so excited about the prospect of Weblog Wannabe and Webloglog getting it on beneath the bleachers *ROFLMAO* That's just the funniest thing! Thanks once again, Andy! You just made my day =) ♥

By the way, I wouldn't have made it to the HotList if not because of you, so as a token of appreciation, I'm opening the free poem offer for 12 more weblogs. Hurry, send me your URL today for a free personalised poem! ♥

Panhandlers are conducting a market research and they need your feedback. No, they don't need your money this time. Just your kind participation in their survey. Come on, do a good deed today! It's fun and free! ♥

Guess what? I made it to the Hot List. I'm number 88. Heh! Let's see how long it will last *grins* Does that mean that I'm among the bourgeouise now? If it does, please feel free to send me a fan mail *giggles* Ooops, I'm already too old to giggle. Oh well... *giggles* ♥

When I put up the three poems below last night, I thought to myself, "Now that people have seen what a lousy poet I am, I'm sure no one will want me to write a poem for them. Sad, sad, sad..." Boy, was I wrong! I've got a dozen more requests for poems since I posted them and counting!

Anyway, since I'm already overwhelmed with the poem requests and my poetic string is almost broken as I've been straining it too much since yesterday, I hereby declared that the free weblog poem offer, kindly sponsored by the mighty Webloglog, is closed. To those of you who have sent me a poem request before this entry is posted, I'll still write you a poem, but all poem requests coming after I posted this entry will be cheerfully ignored.

Even though the offer is closed, that doesn't mean I don't want anymore emails. I still do. And this weblog is still an emailware, guys. Do register your emailware license, or else. Even Adam has registered his. Why don't you? ♥

Next on my list of poetry victims are Playing with Cobras and Bryan J. Busch. What a challenge. You guys will have to wait until tomorrow for your poems, though. It's already bedtime for me! Nighty nite, everybody!

Note to Adam: You still haven't registered your Weblog Wannabe emailware license! ♥

OK, here are the poems I managed to write for the first 3 webloggers who cared to ask for it. They're pretty crappy as I'm obviously no e.e. cummings, but as promised, they were written with love =)

The problem I had when I was writing the following poem was this: I had no idea what "Badjuju" means. I still don't. And I guess the poem is pretty much the reflection of that problem.

Badjuju

Badjuju, Badjuju
What on earth are you?
You mystify me with
Your dark, mysterious eyes

Badjuju, Badjuju
Please take me with you
Let's wander together
In this cyber, Bloggerland

Badjuju, Badjuju
I know you want to
Even though you don't know me
And I still don't know what on earth are you.

The following was probably the easiest one to write, thanks to the unusual title and the lovely colours the weblog has. The poem itself pretty much reflects, erm, my limited English vocabulary.

Stuff & Rot

Rotten stuff in the junkbox
Smells sweet like bubble gums
Colourful like the rainbow
Blue like the summer sky
Green like the neighbour's grass

Rotten stuff in the junkbox
Will keep on rotting and rotting
And spray the sweet smell to the air
Until Bloggerland collapsed and died

Rotten stuff in the junkbox
Bigger than 5k but
Worths more than 3000k
Never, ever throw it away.

The following poem was the hardest to write and is probably the crappiest of all three poems. This poem (especially the last verse) clearly reflects my desperation to finish it.

Thought Temple

Thought temple
Down underground but
High in the clouds
How could it be?
I just don't know
It's always been that way
Ever since that fateful day
When the Bloggerland shook
And /Dev/Tarsh crumbled

Thought temple
Down underground but
High in the clouds
Guarded by two baldy men
Keep the temple away from
Some jumping marsupalians
and Tasmanian devils
Even if the world shatters
The temple will remain.

Let me know what you think about the poems =) I know they're crappy but still... As Adam has noticed, I'd do anything just to get people to email me *grins* ♥

Ooooh, look at that giant cock! How scary!
♥

Cartoon Laws Of Physics. Hmmm, can't think of any witty comment for this one. Should I just say that these laws are what make cartoons funny?
♥

Ka-BOOM! A Dictionary of Comicbook Words on Historical Principles. Somebody likes comic books too much. No, I wasn't referring to you, Neil *grins*
♥

Have you ever felt lost while listening to a rap song? Well, the next time you decided to listen to it, make sure you have the Rap Dictionary on your computer screen. It might come in handy.
♥

Wetscape. Does the word ring a bell to you? No? It's tha browser. You know, tha browser that makes your beautiful web pages look like they've been shredded by a hungry leopard? Oh, it's Netscape. Sorry! =)
♥

Tired of jen-ni-cam? Try jim-mi-cam. Jimmi looks rather lifeless to me, though. But at least you don't have to pay to see him.
♥

You know, you really don't need to ask for a link because people will find reasons to link to you. That's just the way it is. Take Robert as an example. He put up a link to Weblog Wannabe just because this place has a duck! Hmmm, now I feel obliged to keep the duck forever. Oh well...

I like the new look of Bump a lot, though. It looks very futuristic. I've been trying to make a futuristic-looking site for ages but have never quite made it. ♥

This is probably the most comprehensive and most hilarious study on the lyrics of one of the most annoying songs I've ever heard that William seems to love so much. "My Heart Will Go On", revisited.
♥

You don't have to go to Haiti anymore to voodoo the ones you hate. Send your own professional personalised voodoo curses via email from Pinstruck - digital voodoo.
♥

Now I know where Iowa is. Hi Jordan! =) It looks like you do have a fellow Iowan weblogger. And this is really interesting *grins*
♥

The World's Best Bubble Wrap Homepage. Finally, a site for people who understand this strange but wonderful compulsion! Addicts compare popping techniques, and there's virtual bubble wrap you can pop. ♥

I just want to say I'm sorry to Jordan and Geoff for my comments about not being popular in my emails. It made me feel ungrateful to all the people who have been my faithful readers and supporters from day one. People like you both. And for that, my humblest apology.

Now that I've got it out of the way, I have a brilliant idea. I'm not going to start yet another 'blogblog but if you send me the URL of your weblog, I will write a poem based on your weblog. Yup, that's right. A poem written especially for you (or rather, your weblog)! But I must warn you, I'm not really the greatest poet in the world. The poem might turn out really crappy, but one thing for sure, it would be written with love.

So what are you waiting for? Send me your URL! I'm waiting! ♥

This one's for you, girls. Super Uses For Tampon Applicators. It's only the applicators, boys. Not really all that gross.
♥

Julio Iglesias' Prom Planning Calculator for Boys. I'd say it's totally useless but who am I to say. I'm just a girl. ♥

This is so cool, especially since my French really sucks no matter how hard I try to improve it. Write an obnoxious letter in French without having to know a single French word! Now it's cool or what? =)
♥

Try Internet Business Proposal Generator to write a press release for your very own (future) online company. It may sound boring but it's fun! You've got to see it to believe it.
♥

How do you tell someone, who is supposed to be your friend, that their attitude annoys the hell out of you without hurting their feelings and breaking the friendship? Can you suggest me something? Anybody? ♥

Hi Marc and Alwin! Thanks for giving me the much needed "human touch"! =) You guys must visit their weblogs. They're cool!

Sorry I haven't posted any silly link today. I've got so much work to do and the database is driving me crazy, as always. Not to mention that I'm having a terrible headache. What a life... ♥

A workmate is being REALLY annoying. His batches of records are not sent yet because there have been some problems with the database, and I already told him about it, but he shipped the materials the records represent without asking me first and now the head office is complaining that they have the materials but they can't find the records in the database and guess who he blames for this? Moi! Why? Because I'm the one responsible for sending the records. Huh? I didn't say that the records were sent. Why the hell did he ship the goddamned materials??? I really feel like kicking him to the moon right now. ARGH!!! ♥

Rabi makes me feel like a (minor) web celebrity =) Does that mean that Jason Kottke (my hero!) know that I'm alive? Hmmm? ;)

Anyway, it's nice to be in the same bandwagon with Jordan (I know I owe you an email, Jordan!) and Vanessa, though they are very likely to join the bourgeouise anytime soon.

When you're there, don't forget about me, guys! Wave at me from up there, will you? ;) I promise to wave back and even send you a fan mail *grins* ♥

What's new? Well, the weblog is new, and it's looking good! I just love the shade of green. In addition, Ryan says lovely things about Weblog Wannabe: "offbeat, upbeat, with a good down-beat -- what's not to love?" Thanks, Ryan! =)

"Love me, love me, say that you love me..."
♥

Just want to remind you that this weblog is an emailware. I'm sure you know what to do *hint, hint!* Please, pretty, please? My inbox is starving, and since tomorrow is Monday and I hate Mondays with a vengeance, I need "a little bit of human touch", to quote Bruce Springsteen, to get through the day.

In case you're wondering, I do enjoy some of Springsteen's songs, especially those that aren't too patriotic. My favourite Springsteen's song is Streets of Philadelphia. It's such a sad song. Mind you, I'm a sucker for sad songs. ♥

By the way, I didn't get to finish the new layout for Weblog Wannabe because I was too busy having self-pity sessions all weekend. But hopefully the new layout will be up and running some time this week.

Thanks for the e-card, Neil! =) ♥

Nostradamus Foretold... of Mentos. Yep, that's right! He also foretold "The Love Boat", "The A-Team" and President Clinton.
♥

Human penis length chart. Need I say more?
♥

As the saying goes, the best parts of a movie are all in the trailer. Or something like that. Watch trailers to movies like "The Beautiful People", "I Can Fly" and "The Man with No Head" at Trailervision. What? You've never heard of all those movies? Me neither. ♥

Microsoft Crash Gallery. Why didn't I think of that?
♥

If you're in love with your best friend's girlfriend and thinking of stealing her, check this out first: Girlfriend Stealer.
♥

Do you fear permanent commitment a.k.a. marriage? Internet Temple of Temporary Commitment is just what you need. No wedding bells, no fuss. It's done by a click of your mouse. And the best thing is you don't need a lawyer to break it.
♥

Check out The Webby Awards Nominees for personal homepage category. I personally think that the rest of the nominees have no chance to win the People's Voice Awards because Diaryland is obviously going to win since it actually has an army of hooligans -- oops, I mean supporters called the Diarylanders. Go Andrew! =) ♥

Many things in the Blogland(tm) are beginning to irritate me big time. I thought things would be different here from the things in Diaryland since people are so open about the whole popularity contest. Mind you, I left Diaryland because I hated the unannounced popularity contest. I thought open popularity contest would be less irritating. Boy, was I wrong! As it turned out, it's even more irritating! Now where should I go from here? Anyone has any suggestion? ♥

I was listening to Plaisir d'amour in hopes that it would make me feel less depressed but it didn't work. It only made me feel sad. I would listen to Metallica, but it's already late. I don't want to wake up the whole neighbourhood. Maybe I should go to bed.

Speaking of Metallica, here's a short list of Metallica-loving webloggers:

1. Jim Roepcke
2. Jish Mukerji
3. Firda Beka

Why is it that I always realise I made a grammatical error in an email right after I sent the email and not before??? What I meant was "isn't valid" and not "doesn't valid", Caroline... ♥

By the way, Mister Jish McMukerji, I think people whose surnames started with Mc or Mac are Scottish and not Irish. Irish surnames are typically started with an O'. You know, O'Reilly, O'Flannagan, O'Sullivan etc. Any Irish out there can confirm this? ♥

I don't know if I should laugh or cry but this girl is such a link whore. No, I'm not going to let you know who she is or the URL of her blog. I'm going to post it in my password protected journal. Not that I have one but it would be nice to have one. Maybe I'll get one one of these days. I really want to show the bitch in me to the world. ♥

I feel like moaning and bitching and complaining about my life everything today. Oh, and feeling sorry for myself too. So don't say I didn't warn you. ♥

I hate it when people email me about my poems and tell me that they know what I'm going through or that they're glad they're not the only one to experience all the doom and gloom and blahblahblah. Argh! The kind of email I love is when the sender is interested in me. Not my crappy poems, not their own state of mind, not my weblog, but me. Unfortunately, that kind of email only comes like once every two years. Woe is me... ♥

It's weekend and it's time for me to feel all depressed. I have all the time in the world to feel that way. I don't have time to feel anything on the weekdays. I used to feel depressed all the time and it sucked, but now it's only on the weekends. Two days out of seven. Not bad at all. Still I wish I had a life. I wish I had a boyfriend to date me or friends to hang out with. Even people online won't say hi to me anymore *sighs* Loneliness is my only friend... ♥

Mum just gave me a haircut. Now my hair is just the way I like it: short and sweet =) I bet I'll get mistaken for a boy again. Oh well. At least I look at least 10 years younger now.
♥

IQ tests are stupid but taking one is always fun. I took an online IQ test some time ago and I scored 137, which means "definitely a genius" or something like that. I could've scored higher if English was my first language. Not to mention that some questions in the test are, erm, very American. Anyway, the first time I took an IQ test was when I was in my final year in primary school and I scored less than 100! How I could turn from an idiot to a genius is beyond me.
♥

Have I mentioned that I'm redesigning? =) I did try to find some cute links to post but I couldn't find any. Why don't you suggest a link to me? ♥

Looking for an original name for your band? Just leave it to Band-O-Matic. If I had a band, I would call it "The Digital Sandwich". Don't ask.
♥

There'll only be a few updates today because I'm redesigning, baby! Don't worry, I won't get rid of the rubber duckies since you seem to love them more than you love me *sniff!* ♥

Phew, am I glad Blogger is back. It was really scary to see all the server errors the other day. I thought that was the end!
♥

I can't believe Jish said this about me... *sniff!* Will I get my immaculate reputation back if I said that I'm still a virgin or will it only make the matter worse?
♥

Adam must be having a really lame Spring break. He updated his blogs.

Blogger might refuse to remember Adam, but it sure loves me so much that it refuses to forget me. I just can't log out from my account!

Will Try had had the same problem as mine, but then he deleted the Blogger cookie and guess what happened next? Blogger just wouldn't remember him anymore. Apparently, you're not the only one Blogger hates, Adam. ♥

The Most Disgusting of 1999 according to Greta Garbage, no less. I think the Most Disgusting New Food on the list, which is Luwak coffee beans, is from Indonesia, but not being a coffee-drinker, I have no comment.
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Note to self: Stop checking some big blogger's sidebar for a link to Weblog Wannabe because it's not going to happen. ♥

Tony's (Illustrated) Guide to Unpleasantness covers all sorts of unpleasantness in history, from Stone Age era through to the World Wars. Tony also gives you lessons to make you one undoubtedly unpleasant person. If you're a sickeningly pleasant person, this one's for you. ♥

If you hate politicians as much as I do, Pottyticians is just what you need.
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101 Testicle recipes & fun facts. Mmmm, makes me want to try it myself. It just sounds so yummy! I wonder what the butcher would say if I come to his shop and ask for testicles. That would be really awkward.
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The number of visitors to my blog has gone down more than 50 notches to 150. But you know what's so great? It's the fact that I just couldn't care less about it. I'm in a really good mood today. Dum dee dee dum. And no, it's not because I've got myself a boyfriend. I'm still dateless and boyfriendless as ever, but when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning, for once I liked what I saw. Call me vain but I think I'm beautiful =) ♥

Mr. T vs. Britney Spears. I'm on Mr. T's side, of course. Am I the only one who thinks that Britney sounds too much like a chipmunk?
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Lamerizer iz a t00L thaT nO hax0r CAN Liv3 wIthout. ♥

KY Jelly Instructions Contest. I only know one use for it and it's exactly the same with what you're thinking right now. If not for the internet, I wouldn't have known it because they don't sell KY Jelly in Indonesia.
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You can buy that BODY t-shirt you've been dreaming of here. Don't forget to order one for me. I want it white, short sleeve and size M. I want to wear it on my birthday. It's on April 7 =)
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Programming songs are always funny, no matter how old they are.
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Ever wish that you could get your virginity back? Well, you can stop wishing now because VRS 3000, a software developed by the Society for the Recapture of Virginity, will find your virginity and give it back to you.
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With The Dump-O-Matic, breaking up has never been this easy. I think.
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One of the girls next door is getting married, and she's younger than me! It makes me feel so old. And depressed. Can a woman be an old maid at the age of 26? ♥

I can't post a lot today because it's a holiday here in Indonesia and I'm at home. There is only one phone line here so, well, you know how it is. I can't be online too long or the whole house will start yelling at me because they're expecting a phone call or they want to call someone. Oh the joy of living with parents and siblings... ♥

Squirrel fishing: a new approach to rodent performance evaluation is an interesting project by a couple of (really bored?) students of Harvard University.
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I guess I was luckier than Jordan. When my blog looked crappy (read: could not be viewed) in Netscape, I got a lot of help from other bloggers, especially Geoff who fixed my HTML once and for all. Now can't anyone do the same for him, please???

All these complaints about Jordan's blog looking crappy in Netscape are beginning to irritate me. If it bothers you so much, why don't you do anything about it? If you won't help him make it look good in Netscape, go change browsers or something! ♥

Finally, after 16 hours of downtime, Freespech FTP server is working again... ♥

Back on the days when weblogs weren't trendy yet, < metacontent! > was my favourite weblog. It's been on hiatus for months now. I miss it. I really do. ♥

The Age Calculator does more than just calculating your age. It can bring back so many memories.
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I haven't been able to FTP for almost 8 hours now. Will it ever last? I'm beginning to have doubts. If you have a few megabytes of webspace to spare, pleasepleaseplease give me it? =( ♥

Not to compete with Zannah's Shiny Thing (tm) Contest, I bought a goat (real life goat with the, erm, typical smell, goatee, "baa!" and all) the other day. Hopefully tomorrow some less fortunate people will be happy because they can enjoy the meat. Sorry, guys. You can't get anything off my goat because you're more fortunate than me! ♥

Stealth Surfing a.k.a. how to surf the web on company time without being caught. Yet another link that's just perfect for me =)
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Is this the beginning of war between Adam and Jordan? I hope not. I would hate to see my two favourite bloggers hating each other.
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Write your very own metal song using Metal Maker 2, "a service no self-respecting metal band can live without". Yeah, very original indeed. I wonder if Metallica is using their service too. I love Metallica. Am I the only Metallica-loving blogger around here?
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What breed of dog are you? I'm most likely a Basset Hound, which means:

"You are one laid-back individual! You cherish your "down time" and treasure the moments that you have no responsibility to anyone but your couch and TV set. You are easy to get along with and are extremely low maintenance. You probably love to hang out with your friends, as long as it is in a low-key environment. Although some might consider you lazy, you prefer to think of yourself as "relaxed." Your no-frills approach to life makes you a refreshing friend to all. "

How true. And I'm very cuddly too. Heh! ♥

Need a ribbon for a campaign? Just use The Amazing Ribbon-O-Matic to create your own ribbon. Personally, I've had enough of all those ribbons. Not the causes as there are indeed lots of things in the world that's worth fighting for. Just the ribbons.
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Now even web pages can be shredded. Just use this handy tool: Shredder 1.0. It won't do any real damage, though. I don't know if it's good or bad. ♥

Sorry, I haven't posted any link today as I've been having a lot of fun setting up a weblog for my cyberbrother William. He's too lazy to set up one for himself. Not to mention too slow. Heh! Wiliam's site is pretty interesting, actually. That is if you don't mind reading his egostitical ramblings. He's quite an egomaniac. Don't ask me how I could put up with him for years because I simply don't know. ♥

Thanks to the link from Stewart Butterfield, the man behind the 5k Contest, I got 219 visitors the other day! New record! Woohoo! What an ego stroke! And Stewart thought that it might not bring me a lot of traffic since I didn't even notice the link the first time around. Boy, was he wrong! No one has offered me any contract work so far but the link sure has brought me more traffic than he'd expected. Thanks, Stewart! =) ♥

Finally, somebody noticed my plight! [When you get to the bottom of the page (his page, not this page), pass your mouse over the link before the one in the last line and you'll know what I'm talking about]. Oh, before I forget, do enter the 5k contest (as if you needed reminding, but this is the least I can do for Stewart) =)
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Sometimes I feel very much like an alien in the Blogland as I seem to be the only Indonesian around here. I really should change my site title into The Lone Blogger. ♥

Do I post too many links in a day? Let me know what you think.

Oh by the way, the right way to pronounce my name is "fear-dah", not "fur-dah".

And thanks for the article about the yellow duckies, Vanessa! =) ♥

A lot of fun things to do when you're bored at work. Not recommended for probationers.
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I'm not going to stick the Blogger button on my blog until both Barbelith and Riothero did. So there.
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This is exactly what I need: 25 Snappy Comebacks to the age old question "Why aren't you married yet?". For your information, I'm the only single person left in my office. There used to be two, but she got married last Sunday.
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The most beautiful dream I've ever had is the one in which I give birth to a beautiful baby girl that I call Libby. ♥

Jordan just posted his pictures in his blog and he looks exactly like what I thought he would be =) ♥

Hey, Adam just got blueblog and webloglog a new home! Cool! =) But why trenchant.com? Is cynical.com already taken? Ooops, I should've said trenchant.org. Sorry, Adam! =) ♥

Valley URL will turn any website into a teen site. I tried it on Blogger.com and it was, like, SO cool! ♥

"Endless love is two blind people playing tennis" is one of the love lessons I learned from the Love Tester. ♥

Was Blogger.com down just then or was it just me? ♥

Tired of SETI@Home already? Try YETI@Home. Isn't it great to have a choice? ;)
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I love my mother very, very much and I will never ever use this thing to write her a letter. But if you must: Mom-O-Matic, the easy way to write your mom.
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Another link especially for the ever so helpful Neil: the Urban Legend Generator. Enough said.
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If you have an internet sweetheart that you'd like to marry, you might want to try this: Let's Get Married in Virtual Cyberspace. But as the folks say, it's not intended to be a legal binding so you still need all those fussy wussy ceremonies to make it legal.
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I-CookBook (TM) is especially handy for students living far away from home or bachelors who are just too stingy or too lazy to go to one of those junk food restaurants.
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Now you can create your own Sci-Fi Blockbuster! It's so fun that I just can't get enough it.
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I bought a book of poetry by e. e. cummings last weekend. My favourite poem out of that book is this one. I have no idea what it means, but I think it's beautiful.
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Nikolai mentioned my name to Jason Kottke when he met him at SXSW in Austin! How embarrassing! I did ask him to do so but I never thought that he'd actually do it! I hope Jason didn't bother to remember my name. I'm quite sure he didn't. Now I'm feeling much better. Thanks so much, Nikolai =) ♥

Obsessive Fan Sites featuring links to web sites of fans that, well, are way too much. Would you believe that NKOTB.com is still running?
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No link this time. I just have a confession to make. I'm the world's worst employee. I've been in the office for 6 hours but I haven't accomplished anything. I've been surfing all morning and half the day away. I've also been making all sorts of HTML templates, just for the fun of it, when I'm supposed to be working. If you're my boss, please fire me. If you're not my boss, thanks for reading this. You're too kind. I know I said no link this time but I don't want to disappoint you so here's one. Now back to surfing. ♥

This site is totally useless. Why would anyone want to change their astrological sign? ♥

Neil thinks I'm so stupid for buying the KFC hoax. Well, this one's for you, Neil. Now you can create your own hoax to fool me. ♥

Yay (again)!!! I got a sidebar link from Jish! And from Neil too! Thanks! =) ♥

Yay, Jordan is back!!! I did miss you =)
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If you happen to be looking for mp3 files of Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez singing backwards, you just might find it at Retropics. ♥

Can you call an ox cow or is it only female bovine (?) that can be called a cow? I'm trying to find the reason why Grant was so amused when I told him that some people here ate the poor cow's penis. Please enlighten me. ♥

I think I'm a really nice gal. I've never said anything nasty about Webloglog even though my pathetic blog has been mentioned there for -- how many times? Three? But then again, Adam has always been kind in his references to my blog. Kind in a cynical kind of way, that is =) Hmmm, I wonder if I'm the winner of the "blog the webloglog reviews" contest... Am I, Adam? ♥

The Chinese badminton player just beat ours :( The Indonesian team has to come home empty-handed this year. How sad... ♥

I'm watching Men's Singles Final of the All England Badminton Championship on TV. One of the finalists is Indonesian. We used to be pretty good at badminton but we've been doing really badly lately. I hope our player will be the champion this year.

The Badminton Association of England really should hire Will Try to do a total redesign on the All England site. It's very, very poorly done.
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Hmmm, I wonder what Vanessa has been meaning to scan for me. Could it be a rubber ducky? Whatever it is, I'm really looking forward to it =) In fact, I'm really excited about it. It's nice to have something other than my site statistics to be excited about.
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Last night, my Australian friend Grant and I were talking on ICQ about the unusual stuff people eat:

Grant: A lot of people here eat brains. I eat kidney and liver.

Me: I eat kidney and liver too but, well, it's not unusual. Some people here even eat the poor cow's penis. Yuck! Not me!

Grant: LOL.. ROFLMAO.. LOL LOL LOL

Me: Dead cow's penis, that is. They don't really go down on the cow. Duh...

Grant: LOL hehehehe, very good one!!

I didn't mean it as a joke, though. By the way, my ICQ # is 26784774, just in case you want to talk (not about the poor cow's penis, please). ♥

eBaby - Your Personal Baby Trading Community. No, I didn't make it up, I swear!
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The reason I don't have a sidebar full of links is this: it seems that one of the reasons people (mostly new or less-known webloggers like myself) link to weblogs that belong to the Big Names (tm) is to get better rating in all those weblog rating sites (I can't be bothered to link to all those sites) and/or to get the Big Names (tm) to notice them (which I think very rarely works since most of them never seem to bother to answer emails from mere mortals) and accept them.

I used to want some sort of acceptance from the Big Names (tm) myself, but then I realised that no matter what I did, they would never accept me because I'm just not cool enough. I'm just a wannabe [see the blog title]. The Big Names (tm) just don't mix with the Wannabes (tm).

I've stopped waiting for signs of acceptance from the Big Names (tm) and I'm trying not to care about the number of visitors I got (though I still check my stats every half an hour). I'll be happy enough just to know that my beloved regular visitors (stanford.edu, uci.edu, rconnect.com, spacelab.net, you know who you are) have come for a visit. I just hope that they'll never give up on me. ♥

This is what KFC has to say about what they call an "internet legend". I don't know about you but I still don't think I'll consume any of their products. It reminds me too much of this . ♥

A friend forwarded this to me. I wonder if it's true. I'm not sure if I'll be consuming any KFC food until I got this matter cleared.
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"When checking your site statistics is the only excitement you get in life, the number of visitors you got becomes the most important thing in the world." -Firda

[There's no rule that says "thou shalt not quoting thyself".] ♥

This time around, I think it's Blogger.com that's messing up. Argh!!! I keep on getting file uploading error :( ♥

One of my most prized posessions: my very first homepage (see the last updated date). I was still in college and everything was beautiful. Now everything just, well, the way they are. Sometimes sucky, sometimes fun. But mostly sucky.
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Caroline says: "... log what you want to remember, or what moves you in life..."

I think I'm going to do it, so from this day on, the links I post might not be as weird or as useless or as interesting as before. Be prepared for some sob stories because I'm going to integrate my journal with this blog. Well, my short-entry journal anyway. I'll keep my long-winding journal somewhere else.
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Thanks for the kind words, Caroline (I just can't make myself to call people using their site's name - weird!). It's just that I got 100 something visitors a couple of weeks ago but these days I'm lucky just to get eighty something visitors and yesterday I only got some 30 something. My only reward is to know that I have (hopefully increasing number of) readers. Maybe I started blogging for the wrong reason, I don't know...
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It's pathetic. I'm visiting my own blog to get a hit. Damn, I made a typo in one of the entries below and I coldn't fix it because freespeech.org refused my FTP connection :( ♥

I'm considering quitting the whole blogging thing. It's stopped being rewarding. I only got 30 something visitors yesterday. It just doesn't worth all the troubles of finding the links. I haven't got one single visitor at all today. Sad, sad, sad... ♥

It's funny. It seems like I can't log out from Blogger. Does that mean I won't be able to use the remote editing feature?
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Finally, Freespeech.org is back up again (note that I didn't even bother to hyperlink it). I guess it's time to hunt for some free webspace again *sighs* ♥

Do you remember seeing this ad? I don't. But then again, I've never lived in America :)
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Shooting home appliances sounds like a fun thing to do. But unlike this guy, I won't shoot my computer monitor, ever, even if it's already broken. I'm a hoarder, you know. You should see all sort of craps I keep.
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Damn! I'm 3 visitors late! Oh well. Caroline, if you read this, I'm unlucky visitor #20,003 on your page :)
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Who is your Celebrity Love Match? Mine is Ben Affleck! Yum! ;)
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My dream date according to Date-O-matic looks like this:

Support Group for People Used by Microsoft. I really can't think of a witty comment for this link so just make up one for yourself. ♥

"No" in many languages. I just learned (not from the linked site) that shaking your head means "Yes" in Arab countries. Imagine what kind of mess it could get you into.
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Nah, I don't think my regular visitors are going to SXSW at all :) Happy, happy, joy, joy! I did download a couple of songs from a couple of bands that will perform in SXSW and I happen to like "Christopher" by Stargazer Lily very much. ♥

I guess since everyone is going to SXSW, there'll be even fewer visitors to my blog this weekend. Sad, sad, sad... ♥

I would do what this guy do if only he hadn't come up with it first. I desperately need 70 bucks to buy my own domain. ♥

Anyone wants to see an invisible film with me? "Silence of the Clams" is playing tonight. ♥

Do you want to be famous? ♥

I'd like to thank GEoff from Donkeymon for telling me that Netscape-on-Mac users couldn't see the text on my blog, Neil from neilAlien for confirming it, GEoff again for fixing my HTML, and JJG from Weblog Nation and GEoff again for letting me know that it's now working so I could stop worrying. Phew! No wonder I'd gotten very few visitors ever since I brought the rubber ducky back. Who wants to read a blank blog anyway. Thanks so much, guys! And GEoff, I owe you one =)

Meanwhile, Netscape-on-Mac users might still have problems viewing the text on my about and links pages, but I promise to fix it as soon as I get home this evening. Yeah, I'm blogging away from work right now. It's cheaper that way. Heh! ♥

Geek-O-Meter v 3.14.2. How big a geek are you? I'm a grand geek, which means I still need to polish up my scripting skills a little bit. How true. My scripting skills really suck. ♥

Cats Are From Mars is a must read for feline lovers and haters alike. Apparently, the cats are not as innocent as they seem to be. ♥

If you're a Netscape-on-Mac user and you can see the text on this blog, please email me so I can stop worrying about people having to view my source code in order to read this blog. ♥

I hope Netscape-on-Mac users can read this now. If by any circumstances you still read my blog by viewing the source code, please let me know.

I'll fix the rest of the site when I come back from work this evening. ♥

Hey, how about this. Why don't you email me about your most cherished childhood memory or your first date or your first love or your most embarrassing moment or just anything about you? Please? I'm having an inbox crisis here. Please help me? ♥

Now that I've replied to most of the blog-related emails, can I get some more emails, please? =) I may take ages to write back but I will write back. Give me a try, please, pretty please? I'm down on my knees, begging you please, email me, please? If that doesn't make you want to email me, I don't know what will... ♥

I'm going to start another blog where I can show the other part of me. The smarter part, that is. This blog seems to show only the goofy part of me. I do have problems getting serious about anything because everything seems to amuse me. Even when my boss was yelling at me, I found it really amusing. Well, his nose flaring was amusing. Not to mention his reddened face. Anyway, when I get around to creating the new blog, I'll let you know. ♥

Another blogger who is kind enough to give me a sidebar link is Tracy from Ouch!. Thanks, Tracy! :) Hmmm, her URL has changed. Gotta adjust the link on my links page...
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I always forgot to mention this but Tarsh has given my blog a place on his blog's sidebar which makes me feel linkworthy :) Thanks, Tarsh! ♥

I'm giving my megalomaniac cyberbrother William yet another shameless plug, because I can. ♥

Ever wonder what your blog would be like if it was written by Elmer Fudd, a moron or a Swedish chef (among others)? Try the Dialectizer to find out. ♥

Mentos FAQ will show you the proper way to eat Mentos, among other things. Hmmm, I always thought I already did it the right way. Boy, was I wrong. ♥

Bizarre stuff you can make in your kitchen when you're really bored and have nothing better to do. Or when you're feeling weird. Whatever. ♥

I think I know what Jordan's middle name is. But I'm not telling. It's a lovely name, though :) ♥

By the way, I wouldn't mind if you link to Webloglog without giving me a credit even though I'm actually the winner of the "blog webloglog first" contest. Heh!

Adam is funny :) ♥

There's one particular blog that has disappointed me twice. First, for not giving me a credit for using one of my hard-found links, and second for using one of my hard-found links but giving the credit to some other blog where that link was nowhere to be found! Grrr! Yes, I am THAT posessive towards MY links!!! Why? Because internet is so goddamned expensive here which means my links cost a fortune to find. Yet all I ask of you is just a link and/or an email. Is that too much to ask? ♥

This is interesting:

"Does the creator (and copyright owner) of a Web Page have the right to prevent others from creating links to his/her Web Page? If there is such a right, what liability is incurred by violating such a right?"

What do you think? ♥

Marshmallow Bunnies Survival Tests, T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project style. I wonder why people enjoy playing with food so much. I'd rather eat them than play with them, really. Unless I don't like the food then it would be another story altogether. ♥

All the romantic things you can do to make me go "Ewww!" But then again, I'm the least romantic person in the world.
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It's funny how Nikolai always emailed me at the time when I think the folks in America are sleeping. Did anyone notice that teenage webloggers are so much nicer and friendlier than those who are my age? I hate to admit it but I'm far from being nice myself because I very rarely return people's emails. But it's not because I'm not friendly. I'm just a lazy bum, that's all. ♥

The things people put up for sale at eBay that make you go "What the heck???". Pool water from "Melrose Place"? They've got to be kidding, right? ♥

Adam started Webloglog which is like a parody to what's happening to most weblogs these days. I'm proud to say that I still stick to my own rule not to copy any link from any other weblog. It doesn't make my weblog better but at least it makes the content more original. I have to admit that I enjoy being copied as long as I get a credit for that. I love the linkworthy feeling that comes with it. Hmmm, that's the second time I said the word "linkworthy" today. And I just said it for the third time. Duh! ♥

Hey, Digital Swirlee has a new design, and it's looking great! And I got a sidebar link! Thanks Jordan! It makes me feel so... linkworthy :)
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Iowa State University's Tasty Insect Recipes. Need I say more? ♥

Dumb Crooks is a collection of true stories of the mentally challenged criminals.
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If you feel like laughing all the time, beware. You might have brain tumors!
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Sneaky Dating Tricks for men. We women are not that desperate.
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Now that your beloved rubber ducky's back on the scene, I'm off to bed. Don't forget to email me about how lovely my new layout is. It's almost 1 AM, by the way. I started redesigning at 5 PM, as soon as I get home from work, so it took me 8 straight hours to get this layout up and running. Anyway, I hope you like it. See you tomorrow! Or rather, later this morning since it's tomorrow already. TTFN! ♥

To those of you who are so concerned about my overly big head [see above], not to worry because the head will be gone soon. Well, gone from this page anyway, not from my body. Wait patiently for the return of the rubber duckies! I might even have one of those trendy little sidebars on my new layout but not sure yet. Hopefully the new layout will be up and running tonight, but don't hold your breath! ♥

Woohoo! Freespeech finally let me upload! I'm seriously thinking of moving my site somewhere else where the server is more reliable. If you know of any free web server with no ads/popups that gives FTP access, please let me know. If you have your own domain name and you want to host me yourself for free, that would be even better. Heh! I know, I know, I'm a cheeky girl... ♥

Ask the Magic 8-Nipple and it will tell you your fate. I know you're not an idiot but just give it a try, OK? You can even ask that one question that you're too embarrassed to ask ;) ♥

Hey, look at this guy's name! It really sounds like an Enya song. ♥

Ad campaign for a Brazilian internet company. Believe it or not. I'd rather not. ♥

I got 134 visitors to my blog yesterday! Woohoo! It's a new record! The old record was 127 visitors. It was really nice for a change after getting very few visitors in the weekend. ♥

Jordan wants to know the name of the font I used for the header above. It's Inkburrow. It is a lovely handwriting font. I love handwriting fonts. If only you could tell me the name of the handwriting font used here, I'd be yours forever. Well, maybe not, but you know what I mean. ♥

So you want to be a superhero? I'm already one. My superhero name is Kobalt Spyder. ♥

I've decided that I hate this new layout. If I made it home tonight, I would change it into something more colourful. It sucks to work uptown but live in the middle of nowhere. There are always problems with transportation *sighs* ♥

According to Will Try from W4T, my head [see above] is too big... ♥

In case you haven't noticed, I have updated my About page, in which I beg for a better paying job and some birthday presents. ♥

Some poor guy won the Darwin Awards for being the first person to die celebrating the millennium. I don't envy him for that. ♥

Join the Great Debate about the city "Godzilla" should stomp! ♥

Tired of all those "fake" checks you get in junk mail letters? Well, why don't you try to cash it? You'll never know what's going to happen. ♥

This one is kind of old (just like the rest of my links), but still it's funny. I'd feel really sorry for Christina Aguilera and Carson Daly's kid if they mated. ♥

Life's Most Important Questions include "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" Good point, huh? Anyone has the answer?
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The Mother of All Excuses Place has all sorts of excuses you'll ever need. You name it, they have it. I think I've found a good excuse not to come to work tomorrow.
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Interested in going to Mars for a holiday? You can buy the ticket here. It costs 2 million dollars, by the way. If I had 2 million dollars, I'd rather travel the world than going to Mars. I don't think they sell souvenirs in Mars. Not good for my souvenir collection. ♥

I always questioned my own sanity but now I know the answer. I took this sanity test and found that I'm 61.8181818181818% insane. I'm a loony! Yay me! ♥

Do you want to be as rich as Bill Gates? This MIT guy shows you how. It's not as hard as you think. Really. ♥

So, how do you like the new look? OK, I admit it's crappy. I don't think this layout will last very long. I might start redesigning again tonight. Now I'm going to search for some links to post. Check back again later! ♥

Some of the lovely bloggerheads who have registered their emailware are GEoff and Neil. Who's next? ♥

Just a reminder. This weblog is emailware. If you like it, you're required to email me. Yes, I'm still desperate for emails. ♥

I don't know if this is the latest version but here's Boyfriend 6.0. Girlfriend 6.0 is also available. ♥

Sorry for the lack of update today. I'm having fun redesigning this site but I think the new design won't be up and running until tomorrow. It's going to be sensational, baby! ♥

I dedicate this link to all the poor students in the world whose paper is due on Monday but don't think it's going to happen. When I was in college, I always did the paper only a day before it was due. I'm good under pressure. ♥

Did you know that YOUR favourite movie "Titanic" is the movie with the most mistakes in it? Thank God I didn't bother to see it. The mistakes would annoy the hell out of me. Not that I'd know if I didn't read about all those mistakes here. Pretty interesting site, and rather useful too. Very untypical of my links. Heh! ♥

Elvis shot J.F.K., and they have proof! Well, sort of. ♥

It's time for a quiz: how to communicate with the opposite sex. This quiz requires Flash, though. I think I know men and can communicate with them very well because I correctly answered all questions. Yay to me! Not that it would get me a boyfriend or anything... ♥

This link is especially useful for those of you who are trying to master the art of air guitar as well as for budding air guitarists who are trying to prepare for their first gig in front of, uh, their cats? ♥

This one is just in, sent by Dave in Massachusetts (spelling?). It is supposed to be brain stimulus and is actually the appendices to a dissertation. Not sure how it could possibly stimulate the brain but, well, it's weird. Thanks, Dave! :) ♥

Yet another classic: The Field Guide to North American Males. It's too bad there's no field guide to Indonesian males. But since they're just as ridiculous as men in general, I think I can still learn something from this field guide. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a man hater. I love men. But it's not a secret that men are indeed ridiculous. Even some of my guy friends agree with me. How about you? ♥

I dedicate this link to Jordan who seems to be having so much fun scanning his poor cats. ♥

This blog is actually an emailware. That means if you like it, you're required to send me an email, then this blog is free for you to use for life.

Yes, I am THAT desperate for email. I know I suck at replying and all but I love receiving emails. Make my day, please pretty please? ♥

Mark's Apology Note Generator. Sorry seems to be the hardest word. ♥

Prayboy Magazine is one of the infamous products of Lordco, the company that God built. Right. ♥

Here's my top 10 list of referrers:

1. Bookmark (131)
   
2. Big list o' blogs (50)
   
3. Blogger.com (41)
   
4. Stuff and Rot (34)
   
5. Quack! (which is my very own splash page) and Digital Swirlee (18)
   
6. Barbelith, Expiration Date, and Eatonweb (15)
   
7. Pith and Vinegar (11)
   
8. Eleven Seconds links page (8)
   
9. Prolific 2000 (4)
   
10. Foaf (3)

Who is your Star Wars twin? The Star Wars characters that are most likely to be my separated-at-birth twin are Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi. I don't mind being identical twins with Obi-Wan Kenobi but I do mind if I have to be identical twins with Yoda, even if it's only in a movie. I'd rather be the Asian version of Princess Leia. Heh! But don't get me wrong. I hate Star Wars and most other sci-fi movies with a vengeance. Sorry! That's another reason why I could never be a real geek. ♥

Special thanks to Patrick, Jordan, Neil Durand, and sonic junkie for defining cow-tipping for me. My deepest sympathy for the poor cows. I love cows even though I eat their meat. I think cows are beautiful.

By the way, what came to my mind when I first heard the word cow-tipping was this: you tip the cows for giving you meat and milk. The question is, can cows appreciate money? ♥

"Strange links abound at Weblog Wannabe: trying hard to be like yours," says the folks at post-atomic.com. Hmmm... Should I take it as a compliment? ♥

I wonder if every state in the US of A has a poop counter like they have in North Carolina. It's actually a project by the Environmental Defense Fund. Must be hard for the people working in this project. "Where do you work?" "I work for the EDF." "What do you do?" "Oh, counting poo." ♥

Don't click here! I mean it. ♥

What does "cow-tipping" actually mean? Can anyone tell me? I've never heard of that word before. But then again, English is not my first language. ♥

Oooh, it sounds so yummy! I just love werewolves, especially with parsley and a lot of tomato and chili sauce! ♥

Yay, Jordan's back! :) Mind you, he's the only blogger in the world who lists my blog as one of their favourites so don't get jealous if I mention him a lot. Heh! By the way, you all should order Jordan's Swirlee mousepad so he could buy his own domain name. If I had a credit card, I would. And if I had a credit card, I'd buy my own domain name. Too bad I don't have it. I'm just too lazy to apply for one because it's such a fuss. ♥

I kinda miss Jordan. He hasn't updated for like ages. I love his mousepad. It's so groovy. I wish I could have it. Too bad I live so far away. ♥

I'm so sad. I can't access my site stats :( By the way, is it normal to get 100 something hits per day or is it below average? ♥

While we're on the topic, I'm not homophobic. You see, there was a guy that I liked a lot. One day he told me that he thought he was gay. I'm sure you can imagine how heartbroken I was. I finally came to term with the situation and helped to fix him up with some other gay guys I happened to meet on IRC (I used to be an IRC junkie, but not anymore) but none worked.

We're still friends now. He's still not sure about his sexuality and I still don't want to believe that he's gay. That is, if he's really gay, which I hope he's not. Anyone else may be gay, but pleasepleaseplease, not him! ♥

Turned out that Brainy Smurf is a Stalin and not a homosexual. Or was Stalin a homosexual? ♥

Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if you smurfalize this Papa Smurf is a Communist/Brainy Smurf is a Homosexual page.

By the way, I've always wanted to have a gay friend just so that I could talk about guys to a guy because all the guys I know always try to change the subject every time I start talking about other guys *sighs* If you're gay and you're looking for a girl friend, email me. Please? ♥

Am I the only one who got upset when someone used a link you found without giving you credit or am I just being too possesive towards MY links? I mean, other bloggers might have found the same links themselves without my help, right? But why do I still feel so upset about it? ♥